I am 51 years old Greek married male living in australia . In my family we had many relatives with mental disorders from my mothers side . My mother had psychotic syndrome bipolar 1. Due to my traumatic expose in her psychotic delirium when i was 14 i felt detached from my self....I remember i was in my classroom and i started feeling like my head was a hollow box disconnected stupid ......i remember telling my cousin ( i was single kid) that i could not feel what love for others is and that i did not understand why sould i love and i also could not feel that God exists even i could believe it intellectually only , by reasoning , and also i was complaining that i WANTED TO FIND MY SELF and that i could not feel my self adequately it more seemed i was a observer of my self like if i was foreign and watching a movie of me. . 5 years after as i was under a diligent spiritual programme i had my first AWAKENING IN HERE AND NOW , FEELING MY SELF AS ONE .- i was one = .THE OBSERVER SELF THE I AM - AND HAVING A CRYSTAL CLEAR THREE DIMENSIONAL (3D) SIGHT OF ALL OBJECTS AROUND ME AS SOMETHING SEPARATE OF ME IN FRONT OF ME .I had a solid unified sense of my self ...my thoughts my feelings and body senses were all one it was ME the observer existence. My vision was not depended to my eyes as before but was like things were just there existing and real , and i was the seer the I AMNESS OBSERVING IN AWE IN A 3D LASER FOCUS CLARITY .....IT WAS AS IF I WAS ALIVE FOR FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE being capable to FEEL the proper feelings of AWE and deep sincere gratitude in relation with God's role as the creator and the source of LIFE . SAME TIME I REALIZED GOD'S EXISTENCE I ALSO REALIZED WHAT IS DEEP EMPATHY AND LOVE FOR OTHERS . I REALIZED WITH ALL MY EXISTENCE THAT EVERY ONE YOU MEET IS A SEPARATE DIFFERENTIATED REPETITION OF YOU . THERE IS ONLY ONE SELF THAT EXISTS IN THE UNIVERSE AGAIN AND AGAIN DIFFERENTIATED EACH TIME IN MANY SEPARATE LIFE SCENARIOS FROM GOD THE CREATOR TO YOU AND ME AND TO ALL PEOPLE EVER PASSED FROM EARTH AND YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR ENEMIES ALL OF THEM ARE SIMPLY REPETITIONS OF YOU . I realized why Jesus said that we must love our neighbour as OUR SELF , and why WE MUST LOVE OUR ENEMIES AND PRAY FOR THEM WHO ARE HARMING US ( simply we also exist and there as the ones we conceider as enemies ...we are and the victim and the victimizer ...we want our enemies to have a cure in their perspective and mentality as if they were our self and we pray for them ...we dont compete with indifference for their needs in the same way we also would like others do for us if we had a distortion and selfish blindness making us mean and bad ) .I started writing this blog few years ago and here i explain many insights i had through my exploration . . .
self-consciousness addictions mental disorder and spiritual experience AND HERE ARE THE PRACTICES I USED AT THAT TIME TO AWAKE MY SELF AWARENESS IN DETAIL - AT THE PART 2 OF THE POST scoll down half the page -http://iamyou1.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/my-spiritual-experiencenio-aba.html
THE CONCEPT OF EMPATHY UNDERSTOOD AS " I AM YOU " is within all religions and spiritual paths even if it is a bit hidden. Here i paste some references in books and music http://iamyou1.blogspot.com.au/2017/04/i-am-you-empathy-awakened-consiousness.html No one of us being in a state of numbness and Depersonalization -a kind of languor of self - can experience the truth behind this concept....because we are not even experiencing adequately our self .. Only when i experienced my self for first time as one in clarity i experienced same time that GOD exists , and deep intense empathy for others = LOVE = perfect bond of union And that experience was not a product of drugs or transcendental meditation it was a sober experience through contemplation in bible under pray and being out in the nature alone and making life changes helping others and cultivating self-control according to what i was studying in the bible.
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