I am 51 years old Greek married male living in australia . In  my family we had many relatives with mental disorders  from my mothers side .   My mother had psychotic syndrome   bipolar 1. Due to my traumatic expose in her psychotic delirium when i was 14  i felt detached from my self....I remember i was in my classroom and i started feeling   like my head was a hollow box    disconnected   stupid ......i remember telling my cousin ( i was single kid) that i could not feel what  love for others is  and that i did not understand why sould i love and i also could not feel that God exists even i could believe it intellectually only , by reasoning    ,   and  also  i was complaining that  i  WANTED TO FIND MY SELF and that i could not feel my self adequately    it more seemed i was a observer of my self like if i was foreign and watching  a movie of me. .    5 years after as i was under a diligent spiritual  programme  i had   my first AWAKENING   IN HERE AND NOW  , FEELING MY SELF AS  ONE .- i was one  = .THE OBSERVER SELF THE I AM  - AND HAVING A CRYSTAL CLEAR THREE DIMENSIONAL (3D)  SIGHT OF ALL OBJECTS AROUND ME  AS SOMETHING SEPARATE OF ME IN FRONT OF ME .I had a solid unified sense of my self ...my thoughts my feelings and body senses were all one it was  ME the observer existence.  My vision was not depended to my eyes as before  but was like things were just there existing and real , and i was the seer the  I AMNESS OBSERVING IN AWE IN A 3D LASER FOCUS CLARITY   .....IT WAS AS IF I WAS ALIVE FOR FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE being capable to FEEL the proper feelings of AWE and deep sincere gratitude in relation with God's role as the creator and the source of LIFE    .  SAME TIME I REALIZED GOD'S EXISTENCE  I ALSO REALIZED    WHAT IS DEEP EMPATHY AND LOVE FOR OTHERS .    I  REALIZED WITH ALL MY EXISTENCE THAT EVERY ONE  YOU MEET IS A SEPARATE DIFFERENTIATED REPETITION OF  YOU  . THERE  IS ONLY ONE   SELF  THAT EXISTS IN THE UNIVERSE AGAIN AND AGAIN DIFFERENTIATED EACH TIME  IN MANY SEPARATE LIFE SCENARIOS FROM GOD THE CREATOR TO YOU AND ME   AND TO ALL PEOPLE EVER PASSED FROM EARTH   AND YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR ENEMIES    ALL  OF THEM   ARE  SIMPLY REPETITIONS OF  YOU     . I realized why Jesus said that we must love our neighbour as OUR SELF , and why WE MUST LOVE OUR ENEMIES AND PRAY FOR THEM WHO ARE HARMING US  ( simply we also exist and there as the ones we conceider as enemies ...we are and the victim and the victimizer ...we want our enemies to have a cure in their perspective and mentality as if they were our self and  we pray for them ...we dont compete with indifference for their needs   in the same way we also would like others do for us if we had a distortion and selfish blindness making us mean and bad )     .I started writing this blog few years ago        and here  i explain  many insights i had through my exploration .      .       .
self-consciousness addictions mental disorder and spiritual experience     AND HERE ARE THE PRACTICES I USED AT THAT TIME TO AWAKE MY SELF AWARENESS  IN DETAIL   - AT THE PART 2    OF THE  POST scoll down half the page -http://iamyou1.blogspot.com.au/2011/04/my-spiritual-experiencenio-aba.html

THE   CONCEPT OF EMPATHY  UNDERSTOOD AS    " I AM YOU "   is within all  religions and spiritual paths    even if it is a bit hidden.  Here i paste some references in books and music   http://iamyou1.blogspot.com.au/2017/04/i-am-you-empathy-awakened-consiousness.html    No one of us being  in a state of numbness and Depersonalization   -a kind of  languor of self  - can experience the truth behind this  concept....because we are not even experiencing adequately our self   .. Only when i experienced my self for first time as one in clarity  i experienced same time that GOD exists ,  and deep intense empathy for  others    = LOVE = perfect bond of union        And that experience was not a product of drugs or transcendental meditation   it was a sober experience through contemplation in bible under pray and being out in the nature alone  and making life changes helping others and cultivating self-control  according to what i was studying in the bible.                                                          

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